what the heck is a Formerly?

16 Aug

I miss reading books.

Let me rephrase that, I miss reading books just for me and just for fun. I am a mom so I have read a zillion books with the kid – ” I will eat them with a fox. I will eat them in a box.” I am an English teacher so I read books to prepare for classes (I teach 5 different classes).

I was very excited when I was asked to read My Formerly  Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young by Stephanie Dolgoff.  I soon learned that Stephanie even blogs at Formerly Hot.

It is summer time (duh) so I was looking for a beach book and Formerly Hot fit the bill.  I wound up reading most of this book lounging in a hammock at my friend’s house up in the mountains on Pennsylvania. Once I started reading, I was thrilled. Stephanie had me laughing and nodding my head from the first page.

I am 32 years young and I am the mom of an 11 year old daughter. I spent my 20s with a young child. I went to college when she was two and I was 23. I worked all day and went to classes at night. I did not connect with most people my age because most 23 year olds didn’t have 2 year olds. Where I live, it is common to see 20-something moms trying more to be friends with their kids than moms. I never felt like I fit in.  I realize, I was already a formerly.  My “hot” years were just shorter, condensed version.

Now, at 30-something I am once again at odds with most people my age. They are just starting their families and my daughter is 11 – a tween – if you ask her.  I have more freedom than friends with babies and littles. I am tied to home because I still have parental responsibilities. When I stay awake all night these days it is usually because the air-conditioning decided not to work and it was too dang hot to sleep. I haven’t had a girl’s night in I-don’t-even-know-how-long because coordinating such a night requires at least a month to plan.  Stephanie shares this experience brilliantly in chapter 3: Kept Women. How did this happen?!?

I am too young to be a formerly twice over!!

Nah…I just think I am a forever, work in progress.  I guess that means I will always be Formerly something!

Want to read more of Stephanie’s awesome new book?!?!

I have a copy up for grabs,all you have to do is leave me a comment telling me why or how current self is your best self. That’s it.

Hit me up in comments between now and Sunday, August 22nd at 11:59 pm EST. I will then choose a winner using random.org.

Good Luck

*disclaimer: I was sent an advanced copy of this book. I did not receive any compensation, other than the actual book. All opinions are my own. Always honest, always real…that’s what you get around these parts!


8 Responses to “what the heck is a Formerly?”

  1. Anonymous August 17, 2010 at 2:15 am #

    I think my current self, while not my best physical self, is better because she is more aware that what *she* thinks is more important than what others think. I don’t care so much if “they” think I’m hot – I care if *I* think I’m hot. 😉

  2. KLI August 17, 2010 at 2:23 am #

    i would LOVE to read it. As I’m nearing 30 and my wedding less than 3 months away, I feel like there is a lot of formal versions of me.. Would like to read someone else’s story.

  3. Anonymous August 17, 2010 at 2:46 am #

    Like Mandy I’m not where I want to be physically. I am, however, where I need to be mentally. I know what I need to do and I am doing it. I am wiser now than I was in my 20’s and I believe I am a confident, strong woman and an awesome role model for my kiddos. 🙂

  4. Heather Hurd August 17, 2010 at 11:00 am #

    I’ve always been out of place in the opposite way. I went to college older than my friends, I had my daughter later… so now I’m 30, barely have my bachelors, am just now working on my masters, have a daughter who is 15 months old, and still have no settled, stable career. Most people I know have been working at the same job since they graduated from college at 22, and many of them have several kids by now.

    That being said, I really like myself right now. I’m making the decisions that work for me. I am smarter, stronger, happier than I’ve ever been, and staying home with my daughter (though it means we’re broke) is more rewarding for me than I thought possible.

  5. Denise Fears August 17, 2010 at 1:47 pm #

    Ok. I read you ALL the time. I can relate to you alot. but this time? It is like you are a younger version of myself. I am now 38. My son is 18 and just graduated from high school. I AM FREE!! The kicker? All of my good friends have small children and are NOT free. Wow.

    • jeninRL August 24, 2010 at 12:23 am #


      you are the WINNER!! WAHOO!!

      send me an email (jeninreallife@yahoo.com) and I will get your info to the publisher!

  6. Patty@NYC Girl at Heart August 17, 2010 at 2:57 pm #

    Sounds like a great book!
    My current self is my best self because I have lost 30 lbs in the past year & have now taken up running. I’m so lucky to have my family with me. That is what life it truly about! Great question & giveaway!

  7. jenn August 19, 2010 at 3:06 am #

    As an almost-thirty-year-old single mom with a preschooler, I don’t fit into most catagories for people my age either. (Where I live, everyone seems to have kids at age 18, so I’m way older than most moms.) I would love to read the book. Hope I win!

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