17 Feb

I am always changing direction. I will keep changing as I grown and learn and figure out this whole thing called healthy living.  I HAD NO IDEA it would be this HARD!! I remember there was a time when I just thought I would lose a bunch of weight and then I would be skinny and life would be perfect…

Somehow, someway, that kind of thinking totally changed.

My focus has changed.

I realize, I don’t care on itty bitty bit what the number is on the scale. I have had a few weird moments in the past two months where I have caught myself obsessing about the scale. I would step on and off many, many times because that number couldn’t possibly be right. I have caught myself stepping on the scale every day, sometimes more than once or twice a day.  To be honest, there have been days when I stepped on the scale every time I went into the bathroom.

This is NO GOOD!

So the scale is gone!

I go to the Lady Doctor at the end of April/beginning of May and since they insist I weigh, I will have an idea of my number at that time.  And since I see my doc every year like clockwork, I will even have a comparison from last year.

Speaking of comparisons,

I don’t like to compare myself to other people. But (and that’a a very long & drawn out but), I have been doing it. I can’t even tell you how it happened or what exactly it was, but I noticed other people’s accomplishments and feel crappy. To clarify, I was happy for all the awesomeness going around but it has been making me feel terrible for my lack of progress. I was feeling like a failure.  I think the month of sickness bummed me out more than I thought it could.

I took a break from the constant social media. It is way too easy to get distracted and caught up and wind up wasting a lot of time. I am super thankful and appreciative of the friendships I have because of social media but I can’t spend sooo much time on twitter.

I needed (and still need) time to focus on me – what I want and how I am going to get it. I am working through things in my head. I have been chatting up a few friends and asking for help.

I am working on me. This is my never-ending learning experience. I am after all a work in progress!!

Lesson 1: Ditch the scale. It’s toxic for me. I like me and while I finger quote need to lose weight finger unquote I could live with this body as it looks now, if it were stronger.  I want to be strong, but I have never seen my scale say that.

Lesson 2 Be KIND. I am going to be gentle with myself, all the while pushing myself to greatness. A good friend is always reminding me to be gentle with myself. To be kind to me. I didn’t quite understand what this meant until recently and I am trying.

Lesson 3: DON’T Give Up!! Another friend called me out for giving up on myself too easily. Damn, I wanted to argue but Lori, hit the nail on the head. I do not like to hurt and I do not like to fail and I am scared of failing and looking stupid. Blame it on my childhood, blame it on my ex – but I am not my biggest cheerleader. I do tend to walk away before it gets too hard.

So, what am I going to do with it all?!?

1. I am going to be a runner – I am going to run my heart out until I can run without stopping. My first running goal is to run a mile without stopping consistently. My second running goal is to run the Fitbloggin 5K without stopping.

2. I am going to focus on eating healthy. I need to fuel my body if I want to be a runner.  I recently overcame my coffee (with a ton of sugar free french vanilla) addiction. Now, I am going to tame my sugar beast, with some help.  I am going to focus on eating real food as much as possible.

3. I am going to read real books again.  I will have extra time if I am not constantly on twitter.

4. I am going to take baths. I am going to go to bed when I am tired, no more fighting it, my body needs sleep and a minimum of 7 hours.  I am going to treat myself well!

5. I am going to focus on me!! I will not be joining any online challenges for the near future. The only challenge I need right now, is the ME CHALLENGE.  It is about time I give myself the attention I need and deserve!

Are you good to yourself?!?


16 Responses to “CHALLENGE: ME”

  1. KCLAnderson (Karen) February 18, 2011 at 2:12 am #

    This post makes my heart happy!

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:37 am #

      Thanks Karen! I am pretty happy right now myself! Much love!

  2. Christie O. February 18, 2011 at 2:31 am #

    This post came at such a good time for me. I too am so happy when people do great things, but lately I’ve been getting secretly depressed and disappointed in myself that while everyone else is moving forward, I am standing still. It’s just time to refocus and stop comparing myself to other people. It’s just time. I hope you find that peace too girlie. Love you.

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:38 am #

      even you, huh?!? I hope you refocus and find your peace!! love ya back!

  3. Jules - Big Girl Bombshell February 18, 2011 at 3:28 am #

    Awesome Jen….GLAD to see this…I too am staying away from the social media stuff and having more focused time on me… Love that you call it a ME challenge.

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:39 am #


      why is it so hard for us to focus on ourselves?!?

      Cheers to us!

  4. Brittany February 18, 2011 at 5:11 am #

    Greatness Jen! Thanks for being you and for inspiring me, today 🙂 Love you, ma’am!

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:40 am #

      Thank you so much Britt! Love ya right back!!

  5. Jennifer Raymond Colgan February 18, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Yay, Jen! This is so great. You deserve all that and more!

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:41 am #

      Thanks Jenn!! How is germ central??

  6. Katdoesdiets February 18, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    Afrigginmen. Take care of you. I recently ditched the scale for a while and it’s awesome.

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:41 am #

      It feels liberating!

  7. Ryan Raphael February 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    Good for you….the scale is the devil in my eyes. When the scale is looked at as a way to gauge how well you are doing in living a healthy lifestyle it is for all the wrong reasons. The scale does not dictate how you feel at the and of the day (at least it should not). Focus on how your body feels not the number on the scale.

    • jeninRL February 19, 2011 at 1:42 am #

      Thanks friend! I feel good about my choice and yes, the scale is the devil!

  8. trulytrayce February 22, 2011 at 12:35 am #

    FANTASTIC new outlook for yourself! You are amazing and this year will be better and you will see how good it will be to be good to yourself!! *TONGUE twister that was* whew.
    You are inspiring. You are re-freshing. You are doing this. You are being you.


  1. FitBloggin » Blog Archive » Fit4FitBloggin – Goal Updates. - February 28, 2011

    […] on to my big announcement. Confession: I actually already blogged about my big goal a few days […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: