17 May

True Confessions Oh people!

I had a great week – last week!

This week, not so great!

I could rattle off the naughties,

the nasties,

and all the in betweens.

Let’s just say,

I didn’t do

ANYTHING

I should have done

since Friday!

No real workouts!

Lots of notgood food choices.

I have a bad habit of this:

one week good,

one week not-good!

I am gonna confess something big here:

I am battling with a bit of depression.

This is a hard thing for me to admit.

I am the happy, smiley, perky girl who is always cheering you on.

I can’t be depressed.

But, I am.

😦

It is hard to admit this…

my life is good.

I have a great husband

and a fabulous daughter.

I have an awesome job – stressful a lot of times but I love what I am doing.

Life is good

but it ain’t always easy or pretty or fun.

I could list all the yucky stuff going on…

but I won’t.

I am working on me.

I am a work in progress

and I am NOT giving up!

The demons have been surfacing over the last few days.

Am I good enough?

What if I fail?

What if…

what if…

I have been (still am) paralyzed by my fear.

I am working on it.

I am working on me.

I am not sure where I will end up

and I most certainly don’t know what that even looks like.

I will not give up.

I may have off days.

No may about that,  I WILL have off days.

I am not perfect

but I won’t give up!

Today has been a good day.

It’s a start!!

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7 Responses to “”

  1. Brooke May 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    depression that comes around when life is good is the scariest kind. as long as you resign to only let yourself have moments, and not make it a away of life, its okay if the perky girl has an off day too.

  2. Bari May 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    IRL hugs coming at you in 2 days. Until then, (((Jen)))

  3. A Girl Who Loves Cupcakes May 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    As someone who suffers from anxiety & depression I can totally understand and I applaud you for working on yourself and allowing for off days because in this journey there HAVE to be off days. You will make it through!

  4. AnnG May 17, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    As long as you don’t give up on yourself then you know that you can make it….When things get tough turn to your friends to let them help pull you through. That’s what we are here for! {{Big hugs}}!!

  5. KCLAnderson (Karen) May 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    Your awareness is huge. Acknowledgement is huge. And I can’t wait to hug you very very soon!

  6. Jules - Big Girl Bombshell May 17, 2011 at 8:40 pm #

    HUGS!

  7. Beki - Wild Child Gone Good May 23, 2011 at 1:40 am #

    Jen, admitting it is hard. Especially when you feel like you shouldn’t be depressed. I’m proud of you for taking this step! Writing about it (some I shared, some I didn’t) really helped pull me out of the grip of depression. Surround yourself with friends. The support & love will help! I’m always here if you need or want to talk! I love you! You are amazing!

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