Tag Archives: challenges

really rough week

1 Aug

I do not really want to rehash the last week’s event but it is all part of the journey.  I feel like I need to get some things off my chest….and this blog is my place to let it all out. And you know how much I like bullets.

  • I worked very hard to close out my school’s summer program. This summer I was in charge of the program and I was so insanely busy. I cannot believe July is already over.
  • I did not track my food most days.
  • I used food to comfort. I used foods I had been avoiding because they are triggers for me.
  • I had to take my cat, Angus to the vet yesterday. I knew going that Angus would not be coming home with me. I took him because Big Man was just a complete mess and he couldn’t do it. We have lost 3 cats and 1 dog in the last 3 years. It has been very hard on Big Man – they were his babies long before he even knew me. I thought I could be strong and stoic for Big Man and Q. I thought it would be easier for me. I started crying on the drive to the  vet’s office and I am not sure when I stopped.
  • I ate more junky food. Now, I can see that I did this to stop feeling “empty” but it just didn’t help and now I feel worse. (Not mentally – I have accepted what I did and why so I am not beating myself up over it but I feel physically lousy-headachy and bellyachy and “heavy”)
  • I did not train this week. It was a lousy week and instead of turning to my training I shied away from it.  WHY?!?!
  • I spent a lot of time yesterday with my thoughts. I was very weepy and emotional and tired.
  • This morning and I stepped on the scale. I don’t really have a set day (usually Sunday or Monday) and surprise, surprise I was up 2.6 pounds. Ok, I was not surprised at all.
  • I am also not upset about the # on the scale – the scale has no power over me. It is just a number. And I certainly didn’t need to see the scale to know what a lousy week I had.
  • Let’s just say I am super happy that it is a new week!!
  • and a new month!

 

ON TO AUGUST!!!!

  • The month of August is going to be AWESOME-AMAZEBALLS-SPECTACULAR!!!!
  • I have my second half-marathon on August 28th.
  • I have NO work (Ok, I have “stuff” to do for school’s start in September and I have a meeting or two to attend but no real work schedule).
  • I am joining Josie’s “Finish what you start Challenge” (click on the picture below for more details) – I am terrible about finishing what I start. I have BIG ideas and impressive starts but I lack follow-through.
  • August is for follow through! August is for finishing. August is for kicking ass.
  • I have a training schedule for the next month but I need a bit more of a “plan” so I am going to sit down for a few minutes every night and reflect on the day behind and the day ahead. During this time, I will plan out the next day’s activities.
  • August is for the BEACH!!! Yep, it is most definitely a benefit of  being a teacher and living this close to the beach (I can choose the bay, ocean or lake for our summer water activities – yep, I know #lifeisgood)

 

BUTTONfwysc

So, I am setting out to shake off  the funk of last week’s suckiness!! I am setting to enjoy a fabulous August. I am setting off to start something and FINISH it!!

 

On today’s agenda: Fitness – 45 minutes run plus 10 minutes of KB swings, 25 squats, and 5 planks. Food – track all food and stay away from “junky” food.

I will check in daily  with a minimal post of what I did the day before and what my agenda is for the current day…..it’s about accountability. I need to be more accountable to myself!!

 

Here’s to AUGUST!!!!

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wednesday weigh in

4 May

May Your Way Challenge

The sisters (and brothers) know how to throw a challenge! This challenge so perfect – I had to pick MY goals and do it MY way. Here are MY  May Goals and how I did:

  1. Follow my Body For Life plan: 3/3
  2. Run 3-4 times per week: I ran on Monday and I have a date with my sister on Wednesday and Friday. I am on track for 3, maybe 4 runs this week. 
  3. Drink 80-oz of water every day: 3/3
  4. 30 minutes of physical activity every day: 3/3
  5. meditate/reflect every day: 3/3
We are only 3 days into this challenge so there is not much to talk about but checking in is important. Part of this challenge does rely on points and yes, there are points for blogging. BUT, I am starting to find a certain value to blogging a bit more. I started this post last night before I went to bed and then finished it this morning. I did the same thing with my last post. That was a long way around saying – I am going to check in around here more often.  This blog is my safe space. I can say anything I am feeling here. I can curse and scream and throw a tantrum and its ok!! This is my space and right now,  I this safe space more than ever.  So I will be checking in weekly with my “stats” for the SJ challenge. I will be checking in with my stats because I would like a  better record of what I am doing.
I haven’t blogged my weight loss efforts in a really long time.  I am still not sure where to start with all that but I guess the only way to do it is fast – like ripping off a bandaid.
Starting weight: 210.4 (May 1)
Today’s weight: 212.6 (May 4)
Change: +2.2
Ugh!!
Double Ugh!!
With a side of fuck!
I just had to say that and now I am moving on! Rome was not built in a day and I have been doing this thing for too long to get discouraged when I am just getting started. I know I have been doing this forever AND I am just getting started!
Plus, I am totally premenstrual so, weight gain happens. I will not overlook the last 3 days of moving my body and burning calories! I ran, hiked and  yardworked in the last 3 days.  I am focusing on what I am doing right – I am moving my body and I am paying attention to what I am eating. I am eating better and more consciously! I am choosing whole, REAL foods.
I am a work in progress and this gain is not going to distract me! Not this time!!
I am looking for my groove.
And like I said yesterday,  enough is enough and whether I really like it or not, I am just gonna DO IT! I am going to eat better! I am going to move more. I am going to be a little selfish and do what I need to do for me!! 
Isn’t he cute?!?

two days…

3 May

does not a comeback make…

but its a good freaking start!!

And,

As long as I keep starting,

I am NOT quitting!

I have been on a roller coaster of emotions lately and I just plainly have not been myself. Not completely myself anyway. I am working through all these demons. I won’t lie, there have been days where I just don’t care or want to care. This whole weight loss thing has become this whole lifechanging journey (I am borrowing the LCJ from Tara, thanks friend)!  I have gained a bunch back (about half of what I had originally lost) and I have stopped working out with any real consistency. And my head – oh my head – is all over the place. I am a blubbery emotional mess a lot of days. I have been very blah.

I did not magically wake up on Sunday morning and say,

“Wow,world! It’s a new month and now I am all better and I will rock with the eating and the fitnessing!”

I sort of wish it was that easy.

I have decided that enough is enough!

A lot Most of this is a total mental mindfuck.

I have excuses! I am pretty dern good at excuses.

Bottom line.

I make too many fucking excuses!

So, I am gonna just

SHUT UP and RUN!

SHUT UP and EAT BETTER!

and for fucksake,

I am a grown woman, I know there are things in life that I just must DO!

Bills, work, chores….ya know the boring grown up crap that has to get done.

My health has to be the same!

I honestly do not care if anyone ever thinks of me as skinny, and I honestly don’t want to be skinny. I want to be healthy – now, i have NO health issue but I know the excess weight I am carrying makes running harder on my joints and lungs and heart. I want to be healthy. I want to be physically and mentally strong!

I want to call myself a runner and believe it.

I know that a runner is someone who runs – but I still feel like I am faking the whole running thing.

I want to BELIEVE it!

I want to BELIEVE in me!!

so it has only been two days and I feel great!!

To Infinity and Beyond!! Where are you going?

ODD numbers & challenges

3 Jan

I love challenges! I love challenges but I took a break from challenges while I was training for my half. I wanted to focus just on that, but I still managed to half-ass it. I didn’t put my whole heart and soul into my half training and I regret that.

Well, I can’t go back and change and of my past wrongs.

I can only move forward and learn from my mistakes. I know my mistakes – I didn’t stay true to me and I am a huge procrastinator and I didn’t make myself do it without excuses. I know my mistakes and I am going to learn from them.

I LIKE CHALLENGES:

Challenges are fun!! I love the support and encouragement from fellow challengers. I like the short burts – challenges has been anywhere from 3-13 weeks – so there is constant “newness” and excitement. Variety is the spice of life, right?!?

Speaking of challenges:

My fabulous friends over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans are hosting a new challenge. The Power of ONE – and I am the ONE – so it’s the power of ME.  AND this challenged ends on February 23rd….the day before my birthday!  This challenge was designed for ME…and since it’s all about me! Power of One is about weight loss (I know, pick up your jaws I am talking about weight loss again) and I have not been been losing weight.  I am focused on getting into a fitness habit and not eating so much junk or huge portions, I will track food and fitness, and hopefully I will be a little bit lighter for my birthday.

and then on facebook I saw posts about something called a 100 Days Challenge. Of course, I was intrigued.

Info right from The Penguin:

The challenge is to move – intentionally – for 30 minutes a day for 100 days in a row. It doesn’t matter what it is. You can move for 30 minutes once, 15 minutes twice, or 10 minutes three times. You can park your car and walk around the block on your way to work. You can take your dog out for a walk. You can dance, or skip, or do whatever makes youhappy. You just need to move.

Can there be any more perfect challenge to help ya get your groove back?!? Join in anytime!!

I may not be able to go back and change what I didn’t do in 2010 but I can do better in 2011.  Redemption, if you will. Really, I just want to prove to myself that I can train! I like running and I like the way my body (and mind) feels when I am running consistently.  I want to put my whole self (heart, body, mind) into training for an event. While I will be training for a half marathon in August (more details to come), I am going to start slow and train for an 11K. Yep, 11K!! I have found an 11K  race for the April Fool’s weekend and there is 13 weeks until then. I was reading around on jeffgalloway.com and I found a 13-week 10K training plan that looks perfect for me!

Did you catch that?!?

13 weeks of training.

11K is the event!

April Fool’s Day (weekend) is the date!

I like to be a little on the ODD side!! and I totally crack myself up!

So you see, I have a few challenges for the next few months. ALL challenges lead me to a better me and I will feel so accomplished in mid-April when I have moved & grooved my body 100 days in a row and I have properly trained and completed an 11K. I am a work in progress but I feel confident that I am making all the right steps in the right direction.  I am a work in progress and I will keep working and keep progressing.

I have thoughts on keep myself accountable and tracking (my weakness for sure) my food but I will save that for another post because I have already rambled on too much!

What can I say, I like odd numbers and challenges.

I know not everyone can possibly love challenges the way I love challenges but I wonder what you think. Do you like challenges??

it's a hoedown

21 Nov

I hate coming here and whining! I hate coming here with no news to report! I especially hate boring you with my woes!

BUT…

Things are bleh. Nothing bad has happened, nothing to really complain about. I am just trudging along.

When last we met (I know I suck at blogging regularly) I was going to go 31 days with daily movement.   I did not do well on that mission.  I did not plan well enough! I plugged through a few days but then a meeting came up and the kid needed extra karate classes and I was not prepared.

I need to plan.

I need a plan to follow.

I need to follow a plan.

I have tried being free…just working out every day and it doesn’t work for me. I cannot just wing it!

I have tried creating my own plan but I have yet to plan properly. I can plan class lessons but planning my own life eludes me. I need to work on being less scatterbrained in life and working out.

I may have not done so hot at working out every single day but I am not quitter. I can keep trying and looking. I will find what works for me or I will keep looking.

Holiday Hoedown Challenge

In the meantime, I have joined the newest Shrinking Jeans challenge: The Holiday Hoedown and I am on Team HoHoHoes with @reallifeadv, @lissajoy, @karena_0, @melgetsfit, @gettinfitbritt, @LastMinuteMandy, and @tryn2bfit. We are all striving to get through the holidays without gaining a ton of needless weight! We started on Wednesday and I stepped on the scale for the first time in forever. I am not completely surprised on one hand and on the other I was expecting much worse.  I have not run; I have not exercised very much at all; I have not eaten all that great. I was expecting much worse.

So now I have a new starting point. Another fresh start, eh?!?

I have a challenge.

Now, I need a plan.

Nutrition Plan:

1.  5-7 servings of fruits and veggies

2. 1 small “treat” per day

3.  100 oz of water every day

4. mindful eating

Exercise Plan:

I will begin a 8-week 10K Training Plan on Monday, November 22, 2010.  I do not have a 10K race scheduled but I know I need a plan to follow. I will focus on being a well rounded runner in training. I will work on my core and resistance training and  not just the running.

note: I have decided this training plan because I really like the structure and what is planned for each day. 2-3 miles on school days (especially with shorter daylight hours). Plus, I like how stretch and strength days are built in.

Mis.

1. aim for 7 hours of sleep

2. take daily vitamin

3. enjoy Thanksgiving without going overboard! Enjoy Thanksgiving after putting in a great workout (according  to the training plan I will be running 2miles and strength training)!

4. Every night make a to-do list for the next day.

5. Spend less time on the dang laptop!!

I am going to enjoy the holidays with my family without stress and worry! I am going to stay on a healthy path! I am going to stay on MY healthy path!! What about you?!?

10 for 10/10/10

11 Oct

Honestly, the date is just coincidental but I find it very cool!  I had 10 miles on the training schedule and lately I have been doing my long run/walks on Saturday so I have Sunday as a rest & re-coop day. This week I decided to switch it up and run on Sunday – sort of a dress rehearsal for next week.  SUNDAY! Oh. My. Word. Sunday…as in 6 days from now I will be running in my very first half marathon. (I still HATE calling it a half – to me 13.1 miles isn’t half of anything!!)

I am so not a morning person. I like waking up when my body naturally wants to wake up. I have to set an alarm for work mornings and I really really dislike that stupid buzzing alarm clock but its necessary. I am much more of a night person. I like sleeping in and being lazy when I do waker so I am not naturally a morning person. I finally admitted this and stopped trying to fight it. I stopped trying to wake up earlier than I need to for work to go running or workout. It just isn’t in me to get up at 5-something on a regular basis and it makes me cranky and then when I fail (which I always do when I try for earlier mornings) I feel so guilty and I just wind up hating myself for not being able to do it!

I finally STOPPED trying to be something I am not! I am not a morning person!! I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!! I tried! I have gotten very caught up in all the wonderful twitter/bloggy peeps who wake up bright and early for workout purposes. I CANNOT and WILL NOT compare myself to others anymore.

I have found my groove! I am a very lucky and happy teacher so I am usually home around 3:30. I have no excuse why I can’t run or workout afterschool or even after dinner! When I went back to school in September, I got into a workout groove! I really found my running mojo. I started running really regularly and loving it! I have set aside time every day for my activity – I use the hour my daughter is at karate a few days a week and I run or walk. I stay late at school on Mondays and do a yoga video (yes, I could do this at home but with a 5-month old puppy any floor exercise is almost impossible when Lucy tries eating my ponytail!)

Lucy is super cute and I love her to pieces!!! I can’t wait until next year when she is old enough to start running with me!

I have made it work for me! I have found MY time, my peak time where I am happy and want to run or workout in some other manner.  I have found my happy and I am grooving with it!

Back to my 10 miles on Sunday, October 10, 2010 (10 for 10/10/10).

I used this as a dress rehearsal of sorts for next week. Since I am not a morning runner, I am a bit nervous about race morning. I woke up when my body was ready to wake up, about 8ish am, and I had a cup of coffee and breakfast and 20 ounces of water and potty-time. I also wound up chatting with a girlfriend and she decided to run with me for most of my miles. I was out the door by 10:30ish. I met my friend about a mile from my house on the bikepath and we kept going along the path. at about 4.5 miles we were near a grocery store and I needed gatorade since I am out of my sport beans. Another thing I have learned, I do not like to drink (or even sip on) water during runs. Water during runs make me want to throw up but gatorade works just fine! Since we stopped for hydration and a potty break I snapped a pic with my cell phone:

Not the best picture but I am putting it out there because I love you all and know you should see me at my sweatiest! Yes, that is an ipod Touch sticking out of my sports bra (and the cell phone was in the other boob).

I had so much fun running with my girl, Darryl. We have never run together but we did it! At first she was jogging slow enough to keep jogging while I walked my interval. I REALLY like Darryl’s nice and slow pace. I actually wound up running 2 intervals and walking one (I set my GYMBOSS to 1:1 intervals so it beeped every minute) for a lot of the miles. After the gatorade break we both ran 2 minutes, walked 1 minute until we made it back to her turnoff home and I finished my last mile or so.

When I rounded the corner near my house and I heard my nike+ say “you have reached 10 miles!!” and then Paula Radcliffe’s voice say “you have recorded a new PR for 10K” I burst into tears. My body was overcome with sobs…deep from the soul sobs…I could not stop and I walked in the house and I was in tears and sweaty and my chest was heaving from the sobs and I looked at Big Man and just kept crying. Poor Big Man, he hates when I cry!! I was crying but smiling so he was really confused! He hugged me and told  me to get my sweaty ass into the shower. So of course I started laughing and almost spit orange juice out of my nose! I LOVE that man of mine!

Sorry there is no post 10-mile picture but I was too blubbery to even think about a picture!

Me and Virginia Slims…..we’ve come along way baby!!! I have learned so much and grown so much while training for this half marathon and I have so much to share but this post is getting long and rambly enough. Thank you to all my friends who have been there for me through this journey. Damn, it is making me sappy and I may cry again!

How did you spend 10/10/10?

Oh yeah, CONGRATS to all my peeps who became  half-marathoners and marathoners yesterday!!!

it's time to go…

26 Sep

I will get to this in a minute, but first I must ramble in my normal Jen way!

Almost two years ago I walked in to my very first Weight Watchers meeting. That was November 8, 2008. I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings over a year ago. I liked my meetings but I was going for the socializing aspect and not the actual losing weight thing. I felt like I was wasting time and money that I just didn’t have to waste.

Last summer I finally dropped below the 200 mark and I guess I got a bit cocky. I knew what had to be done to lose the rest of my extra fluff.  Let me be honest, I have not been focusing on losing weight. I have not really lost any weight in the last year. I have maintained but not lost any new weight.  I guess it is good that I have not gained all that I lost but I still am not thrilled with myself. I have lost my focus. I have had a ton of other stuff to focus on and I won’t even bore you with the details.

But, I will tell you this: I AM DONE being in denial! I need to focus and I need to lose weight. My body feels amazingly better since I lost the initial 45 pounds. My body feels stronger than ever. I am now running when I haven’t run since high school and had to stop then because of knee issues but now when I run my knees don’t hurt.

I realize that at 195+ (I don’t know the exact number) I am still at a higher weight than I was before I was pregnant. Well that baby is now 11 years and 3 months olds. I would say 12 years is a long time to still carry baby weight. I don’t remember exactly what I weighed when I first found out I was pregnant but I seem to remember 160.

New goal: Lose the last of the “baby” weight!

HOW?!?!

I am going back to BASICS: Move more and eat less!

Sounds easy, right?!?

Except, if it was so easy I would have been doing it all along. To be fair to myself, I have been okay in the eating healthy department and okay in the moving/fitness department. Just okay is not good enough but without just okay I would have gained not maintained. I still have to think of all the positives – it’s who I am!

I have to go back to the newness I felt when I first started this whole journey. But I also must keep with me all that I have learned.  AND I have to be completely honest with myself. My portions are out of control and I have been allowing myself “treats” because I deserve them. All my hard work running and working out – doesn’t do much good if I eat too much or the wrong food. What I deserve is to treat my body with respect and feed it properly for what I am expecting out of it.

When I first started this journey, I measured all my food and read all the labels. I also ate a ton of pre-packaged food at first: 100 calorie packs, frozen lean cuisines or the likes. Now, I do not eat the pre-packaged stuff very much at all (hardly ever) and most meals are totally fresh. I have changed the way my family eats and this has not been exactly easy. Initially eating healthy cost a lot more but along this journey I had to learn a lot about budgeting.  The budget has been supersuper tight the last few months but I have found ways to stretch our limited resources. We have a local butcher shop that has great quality chicken and meat at extremely reasonable prices (cheaper than the grocery and better quality) and an awesome produce store that sells really cheap veg (5 pound bags of potatoes for a buck, 3 head of romaine for 2 bucks and other deals like that).  I have been buying only what’s on sale from the grocery store, which has been a lot of pasta (regular white pasta) and rice and canned beans.

As I am writing this I am evaluating how I have been eating. I realize I am eating the right stuff 80% of the time but I have not been watching my portions.  I have not been paying enough attention.

FOOD BASICS:

1. EAT 6 fruits/veg each day

2. Drink 100 ounces of water each day

3. Track food each day. I have looked at a few websites for calorie counting and that is just too confusing. I have no idea which site is accurate and of the three I have looked at not one gives me the same daily calorie number. I will not go back to paying for Weight Watchers (not very frugal, huh). I am simply going to keep a little notebook with me at all times and write down everything I eat or drink. Maybe I will figure out the calories at the end of each day and see what my average is after a week.

Fitness basics:

1. 2 (or 3) short runs, 1 long run per week

2. 2 yoga workouts per week

3. daily stretching and post-run icing down

Yes, I have a half marathon in 3 weeks. No, I am not remotely ready. I wasted way too much time this summer being depressed about our financial situation. I wasted way too much time hoping and wishing the heat would break this summer. I did not train properly but I am getting into the swing of training. I will finish my half – it may not be pretty but I will finish it. I have finally found the place where running is my thing – I like it, I may not be all that good at it and I may walk as much as I run, but I really like the way running makes me feel. Especially on those hard, mentally challenging runs – the runs where I want to give in but somehow dig deep enough to finish. I have decided that I will complete a second half marathon, one I will train my booty off for, exactly 6 months after I finish my first.

I know what to do, fitness-wise, but I am LAZY! and I PROCRASTINATE!

I MUST CHANGE THIS!!!

I have made the first steps.

While I am getting back to basics I have decided to use two tools to track my progress: the scale and the picture. Every Sunday, I will step on the scale and report the changes. I will also have the husband or the kid take a full body picture every Sunday. I will post both for you to see. This will be my very own Back 2 Basics (B2B) Challenge!!

Starting weight: 242.6 (11/8/2008)

B2B, week 1: 192.6

Change since last week: n/a

Total change: 50 lbs.

*The other part of B2B will be to remember the small things! This week (and every day actually), I am eternally grateful for the friends I have made because I started this journey.

For now, I really want to post so I will update later with a picture!!

Ya’ll have a great day! MUCH LOVE!!

having fun

13 Sep

is THE MOST important thing!

IF I can’t do this and have fun I really don’t want to do it.

I thought my problem was heat, stress, self-doubt…ok, well it was probably a combo of those things but mainly, I wasn’t having any fun. My feet hurt more than I let on but I made do with not-the-right shoes because I had to and that did not help make my runs any better. This week I rediscovered the joy I found running in the snow.

I love my little sister! I am super proud of her – she wants to get back in shape (she was a field hockey superstar in high school) and she is doing it. Little sister came and ran with me last Tuesday and we have another date for this Tuesday. I had so much fun running with her and I can’t wait for our run this week.

Somehow, I am a very lucky girl. I went on a second run on Saturday with my very awesome new friend, Kerry. We ran a good bit of the first half and then walked the rest of 8.25 miles!

8.25 MILES!!!!!

yes, I am kinda yelling. When we mapped it out we were shocked that we had gone that far. Talking really makes the time and miles fly.

Amazingly enough, we both felt great…a bit tight in my hips and knees and arch but not pain. I woke up Sunday feeling great too. I feel the miles but I don’t hurt. AND, I am still reaping the benefit of 2 hours getting to better know my new friend and no phones ringing or work to get in the way.

I had so much fun.

I learned a few things during my fun runs this week:

1. I NEED to stretch often (and I need to learn good stretches for before, during, and after a run- but I think I know just who to ask). big hint here!

2. I like running 1 minute, walking 1 minute – my body likes it and I am going to roll with it. I have to run my own run. I don’t want to call it a race ’cause I am not really racing anybody.

3. I am going to have FUN with this half training. If at the end – I have crossed the finish line and I have been running 3 times per week on most weeks….and I still like or even love running…then I win!

4. As much as I love listening to my ipod when I run, I like listening to what is around me better. I may be leaving my ipod at home or at a way lower volume to test this theory.

5. As much as I LOVE challenges with my friends, I cannot participate in any challenges right now. Running and half training are way more mental than I could have thought it would be. I need to focus on me and I can’t add one more thing right now. This one is very hard for me to admit – I want to join challenges (especially a certain awesome Shrinking Jeans challenge which shall remain nameless) but it would not be good for me right now.

I am focused on me and ready to have some fun.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

did you click?!?! you should…it just might set the mood right for the day ahead…trust me!

My workout goals for this week:

1. 2 “short” runs, 1 “long” run
2. 3 “other” workouts (yoga, pilates, strength, exercise TV)

3. stretch daily

What are your goals?

bumps in my real life

5 Sep

I have made it no secret that I have not been training up to my full potential. I have let excuses and heat and more excuses stand in my way.  Summer was a very stressful period – an unexpected bill and an unexpected puppy messed with the delicate balance of our tight budget. I did not handle the stress well. I certainly did not handle the heat well. I withdrew into myself and stayed at home and did a whole lot of nothing.  Being broke and it being hot as Hades did not sit well with me and I turned into a hermit.

I blogged a few times about my struggles and stress but I never really put all my feelings out there. Today I feel the need to get a few things off of my chest. I need to clear my mind of all that is weighing me down.  I never admitted that I was lonely and worried and worried and hating the situation. I really turned to my husband. We have become tighter during our time of financial strain. It sucks being broke and it really sucks juggling to pay the bills. But ya know what?!? I finally realized it is pretty awesome that even though it took some creative budgeting, WE did it. We came through it ok. We continue to pay down our current credit cards without using credit in anyway. As a teacher, I am used to summers being the leaner months and we prepare for that but this summer had a few obstacles thrown at us. Bumps in the road of life.  At times I was so upset that I cried or yelled but I never turned on my family and they never turned on me. We got through it together!

Life is not perfect. My bills are not magically caught up but school is back in session and soon comes a paycheck and back to normal. Well….my normal anyway. My husband still does not have a steady job but he definitely works hard. Lucy is healthy and getting big and a welcome addition to the family even if her arrival was not the ideal time. She needed us and we needed her. The karate kid has no clue that her parents are stressed and she had a pretty awesome summer (the kid has a better social life than me for sure…lol). My tripod is a happy and healthy unit. Life may not be perfect (whatever that means anyway) but Life if Good!!

For some reason, back to school always makes me reflective of the past year and the year ahead.  I have already reflected about my school life. I have such an awesome plan for this year. Every year I get more organized…you see, I have so many ideas that it is often hard for me to translate them all into actualities. Part of my school plan can and will be used in other aspects of my life. I will be taking time each week to really look at the week prior…I have not done this, not really and I know it is the only way to stay on top of “things” and continue to make progress.

This might translate into more blog posts on mushy feelings or more posts on progress.

I went back to school on Wednesday and students came in on Thursday. I was in my classroom Monday and Tuesday. I started setting my alarm Monday to get back in the swing of working for a living or reality if we must.  I showed you my new plan just the other day. I have already learned that my real life has a lot of bumps and I need to be flexible with my plan. The more rigid I try to be the less I enjoy and the more likely I am to just give up. I also realize I have been all or nothing…when  I am on I am really on but when I am off that is it, I am off! I have been totally off for most of the summer and instead of allowing bad days and just enjoying the good days I caved at the first sign of yuckiness.

I am learning and growing so much and I have an even newer game plan. My calendars stay up and they are my guideline. Some days the workout will get switched around and some days I will walk more than I run but I will get my training and my mileage when it fits the best for me.  I have already put the hundred pushup challenge on hold – 2 reasons: my wrists are killing me and I have enough to challenge myself finishing 13.1 miles. Even though I have the next two months mapped out I will evaluate every week and plan each week according to family schedule and my physical needs.

This week I put my training right on the front burner. The other front burner had back to school written all over it. I juggled both front burners quite well and I was happy. Monday I stretched and did some pilates. Tuesday I got out there and ran 2.9 miles. Wednesday I went out to run but walked more than ran those 2.6 miles. Thursday was a very tiring day so I did two on-demand workouts. Friday I was exhausted, so I rested. Saturday I woke up with one hell of a twinge in my back and I rested some more. Sunday, the back issue was still there so I did not push myself to try and run. I am not happy that I did not get my long run in this week but I am not going to beat myself up. I am going to move on and kick ass this week coming up. The back issue is just a bump but it could become a huge obstacle. A new week starts now.

Barring a physical need (I will listen to my body…it’s the only one I have and I plan on using it for a great long time) I will not make excuses.  I will just

I know I will feel better if I do!!

I will continue to learn through the bumps in Real Life! How do you get through the bumps?!?

BLOGGING IS MY THERAPY!

DDGBD, report #2

29 Aug

Drop Dead Gorgeous is the brainchild of Jess! I really like this challenge for so many reasons:  It is my way to stay accountable. It is my way of looking at the positives and not dwell on  the negatives. I needed that this past week!

8.29.2010

My picture of the week! I am not holding a sign because my shirt is my sign…

In case you can’t read what my shirt says:

Today I had to wear this shirt because I am not feelin’ it!! This shirt is sort of like my superhero cape!!

Goals from now until December:

1. Make working out a habit.
2. Run/walk 3 times each week and strength train 3 times each week.
3. Complete a half marathon.
4. Try one new good thing (whether it be food, recipe, workout, etc.) each week.

I started this week feeling super positive and ready to take on the world. I did not end as strong. I was saddled a few days with a serious headache and it is still lingering. I ran twice and did one day of pushups. I will work much harder on my workouts this week. I DID try a new workout this week. I tried a bellydance class on Exercise TV on my cable’s On-Demand. It was fun and I think I will be trying more of the on-demand workouts!

ONE brag for the week: I made my own chicken stock!

ONE thing to improve upon for next week: This week I return to school. I don’t need to officially be in school until Wednesday but I am going to start Monday like it is a normal work week. I have a classroom to clean, organize and prepare and lesson plans to write. This week, I will not let the chaos undermine me. This week, I will track everything I eat or drink and I will track all my activity. Last week, I really worked on moving and my gruve helped and I plan on continuing to move & gruve. To track this week, I will use my fitbook (which has been neglected for far too long).