Tag Archives: pain

a pain in the …

15 Aug

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My last post I bitched about being a girl and then I went about my day. Saturdays are my day to clean. I go over to Ocean City and I clean changeovers (basically, people come to the shore for a week and I clean in between rentals) in some of the nicest remodels OC has to offer.

Well, after two and half hours of aggressive cleaning I bent down to pick up a fuzzie off the floor I was mopping and I felt a tweak. I didn’t really think too much of it and when on my way with the mopping. By the time I was done mopping and had loaded up the car to head home my back was very angry. By the time I got out of the car at my mom’s house I was really in pain. By the time I got back to my house,  I could barely stand up straight.

Oh fuck!

I was so not a happy camper.

I mean seriously, how in the world did I mess up my back so bad?!?! I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary!!

There was not much I could do but rest it! I spent all day Sunday babying my back – hot showers, woodlock massages, biofreeze, hot epsom salt baths, REST! Do you know how hard it is to rest on a Sunday when I had 10 miles scheduled?!?

Do you know how hard it is to rest when I was just getting back to my groove?!? No, it wasn’t perfect but I was getting there.

Do you know how hard it is to rest when your own house needs cleaning but you wacked out your back cleaning other people’s houses?!?

Last night I went to bed feeling like I had made some progress with my tweaked back. Apparently NOT!

I woke up all wonky again and I am not a happy camper.

I am not going to let this get me down <~~~this might be harder than I make it seem. I am trying so hard not to be negative and down in the dumps but really it is going to be hard.

I am scheduled for a half marathon on August 28th.

I am going to use this as a lesson to LISTEN to my body.

I know I have not been properly training the rest of my body.  Sure, I have been running and logging lots of miles but I have not been consistent with strength or cross training. I wonder if this back-thing is my body’s way of reminding me there is more to training than running?!?

I am going to go ponder this while I watch the pouring rain!!  I have an acupuncture appointment tonight and if I can get myself out of the house I may hit up my chiropractor as well.

I may whine a lot.

But I will try to stay positive….or at least, I will try not to whine too loudly!

I really hope to give you an upbeat post soon.


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I am not awesome

30 Aug

Written late Sunday night. So today in this post is actually Sunday not today, which is Monday.

I set out this morning to run 6 miles. I found the perfect place and I mapped out a 1-mile loop. I was up with the alarm at 7 and I never get up with the alarm…I always stay in bed for at least “5 more minutes, ma!” I had a bag on the dining table with my clothes, socks and sneakers and all my running stuff (I have a little blue bag that holds my iPod, ear buds, BodyGlide, GYMBOSS, and now sports beans) last night. I let the puppy out and managed to get her back in bed with Big Man and me out of the bedroom without her causing a ruckus.

I got dressed, grabbed a banana and filled my water bottles and I was out. I drove to my spot and that’s when the need for a bathroom hit me. I was quite happy I hadn’t already started running.  I drove to my mom’s since she lives in same town as my spot. A detour. No biggie. I was excited for today’s run.  I went back to my spot and started my run.  I knew withing the first five minutes I was in trouble. My pants would not stay up – I wore my Thriv pants, my own fault…I should have worn my black spandex shorts – I swear I have issue with pants rolling down off my belly and not wanting to stay up. I really hate pulling up my pants when I am working out but I have yet to find the perfect pant for such needs…except, my non-flattering spandex shorts, which stay put in both the waist and the leg.

Oh boy, do I ramble.

So wardrobe malfunction.

But I kept going, tugging at the pants the whole time.  I never got in to any sort of rhythm, then my knee started hurting. My knee hasn’t bothered me in a while so I was sort of caught off guard. I kept going for a bit but I didn’t last. By the end of the second mile I was done. I didn’t want to push it.

I got back in my car and I cried. I felt like such a failure.  I texted a friend and to my surprise she was awake and texted back.  Thanks Mo for reminding me of the good stuff.

I have heard that running is mostly mental. I felt totally mental, sitting in my car crying my eyes out because I only completed 2 of the 6 miles I had set out to do.  My knee was sore – a bit tight feeling and my feet.  My head was full of self doubt – who am I kidding? I can’t do this? and other similar thoughts all ran through my head. Mo told me we were in this together and we would get through this “crisis.” side note: I have the best friends ever!

After talking (read: texting) back and forth, Mo thinks I am not stretching enough. She would be right since I hardly stretch. My training has been just the minimum. I have not given my all to this. I sort of know why after today’s episode…if this is all mental I have to believe in myself and just do it. No over thinking it, just doing it. When I wanted to go to college with a baby as a single mom, I had to just do it. I had to throw myself into my projects (each one as they came up).  When I met Big Man he was used to me going and doing my own thing and he had always (always had and always will) encouraged me but somehow being home with my tripod this summer has been my excuse. I have sabotaged myself and today I finally realized it.

A new week is upon me! I have fewer and fewer weeks before the half marathon but I vow this week to not sabotage myself. I vow to follow my training schedule for this week. I will also make sure to spend a few minutes every day for stretching! The Doctor has ordered it!

I may not be awesome right now, one cannot be awesome when one is self-sabotaging, BUT I am NOT giving up. I just have to step up my game. Basically, I have to shut up and run or shut up and train, as it is. This shall be hard….I am not good at shutting up!

Monday = Back to Reality!

*Drop Dead Gorgeous by December is teaching me to find positives in every week but this run was super hard on me mentally and I had to share the not awesome feelings of today, even though I was able to post something positive. I may not think I am awesome after the running fiasco but I really do think I’m super. **this is just in case you think its weird how my last post was all positive with a cute picture…I can be many emotions all at once.